I remember my freshman year of college. A sorority sister of mine was dating a marine. After they broke up, he went crazy. Wasn't surprising to me, I really didn't think that much of military guys. Don't tell my dad and uncles I said that. And after that, I vowed never to date someone in the military. I however was not above going to the Marine Corp Ball just months after that happened. What girl is gonna pass an opportunity to get all fancied up?
Cut to a couple of years later (ok more like a decade) and here I am. Glass of wine in hand trying to soothe my nerves from another day of him not here.
I met D years ago. Since he was a marine, I brushed him off (after I made out with him of course). It wasn't until my friend's housewarming party that we were reunited. I remember thinking if that guy comes and sits at this table with that disgusting cigarette, I'm gonna get up and leave. I didn't. In fact, I spent the rest of the night with him. And then he left me!
Off to spend a couple of weeks at home with his family back east. We talked a lot while he was over there and when he came back I was his girlfriend. We had fun, broke up, and then started seeing each other again. And once again, he left me.
3am on Camp Pendleton's parade deck isn't the greatest place to be. Women sobbing, men clinging to their children for a last goodbye, and young boys about to turn into men. I got caught up in all of it. Then it was time for my goodbye. You know that type of crying that hurts so much you can't even talk? That sucks. It lasted all day.
It's been a month since he left. I got a few emails here and there, but it doesn't help. Knowing someone you care about so much is facing life or death at every moment of every day isn't an easy thing to deal with. I spend more time thinking about him than I do on my life. Checking websites to see the latest caualties; message boards to see who has heard from their marine; RSS feeds to see the latest update from his unit...it can drive a person insane.
But what can you do? Nothing. You can't do anything. You can sit and worry and pray and cry and just hope in 7 months he comes home. So that's what I'll do. I'll sit, worry, cry, and just wait for him to come back.
Please come back.
